Grownups Must Die, by D.F. Noble

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A review by Terri Kinckner

 

I love when I’m reading a book and I forget that I’m reading. This book did that! I was both horrified and intrigued the entire time I was reading. This is definitely worth reading if you like horror.

Imagine a world where grown ups have gone insane. This is what happened to Jake, Dean and Alex. All three boys were struggling with personal issues. Jake’s father was deployed overseas and his mother was abusing prescription pills and sleeping around on his dad. To make matters worse, his best friend, Ronnie, was killed by a neighborhood thug. Dean was dealing with an abusive stepfather and a mother who was too weak to protect her son. Alex was a bit of a nerd and never really fit in with other black kids, or any of the kids at school. The three found friendship in each other and it’s a good thing, because they really needed each other when their world turned upside down.

The day after a signal from outer space was heard, electronic devices started going haywire. The static sound transformed adults into absolute monsters. They tore their own eyes out and attacked their own children. After saving a group of kids on the school bus from the deranged driver, Jake headed back to school to look for Dean and Alex, both of whom were still at school. Meanwhile, Dean had managed to save several kids in his detention and rescued Alex from the library. Jake came to the rescue in town, where Dean and Alex were being attacked by the grownups.

This book had me repeating to myself in my head “this is only fiction” the entire time. The author did a wonderful job creating these middle school characters. This is NOT a book for children, though! The absolute nightmare world they now faced would drive most adults insane. The action in this book was intense and graphic… a perfect combination! The great thing about D.F. Noble’s books is that even with all of the terror, there is always some humor. This is also true with this book. I found myself terrified one minute and laughing the next!

I give this book 5 terrifying stars out of 5!

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Cannibal Fat Camp, by Mark Scioneaux and David Hayes

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A review by Terri Kinckner

17 year old Miles had a problem. A huge problem. He was morbidly overweight and could not control his eating. After getting in trouble AGAIN for stealing his classmates’ lunches, he had a choice: go to Camp TumTum and get his eating problem under control, or face expulsion. Feeling a bit hopeless, he agreed to see the doctor to be recommended for the camp. After meeting the once obese but now athletic and perfect counselor, he was looking forward to going to the posh resort-like camp hidden away on a secluded tropical island. On his second day at camp, he and the other campers found themselves alone when all of the counselors died from drinking poisoned protein shakes. In a panic, the campers stress ate all of the camp’s food, leaving them to find a way to survive until they were rescued. Some campers had other plans.

I loved this book and flew through it quickly. The characters were great! It was interesting to delve into the psyche of Miles. I wanted him to succeed! Charles was by far the most twisted character I’ve read in a while. Jenny was kind and smart, the perfect person to save these kids, but the right thing doesn’t always happen. I loved learning parts of the experience from journal entries and letters home.

The writing was excellent. The transition between journal entries and regular text was seamless. The doctor’s report was hilariously offensive and made me wonder what doctors REALLY put in reports of these types! The adult characters in this book were as unique and the children, making the entire story flow nicely. This book has two authors, and I couldn’t tell where one left off and the other began. I love that!

The violence and gore. Oh yes, this book has that in abundance! A veritable buffet of insanity, guts, blood and sex! Those scenes were very descriptive and lived through the horror with these kids, albeit with an adult thought process (which included me adding a lot of WTF’s and OMG’s out loud. My only gripe with this book, and it’s really not a big one, was that I didn’t get to “see” the final battle play out. I think that scene would have been better if it wasn’t done as a newspaper article, although the article was quite interesting.

The ending. Oh my! I didn’t see that coming! I closed that book…er shut off my kindle… with a grin. I can see no more perfect ending than that! All in all, AMAZING book!

I give this book a big fat 5 out of 5 stars!

Beer Run of the Dead (Book 1) by D.F. Noble

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A review by Terri Kinckner

Book description from Amazon: An epic drunk romp through the wasteland of a zombie apocalypse, Beer Run of the Dead is the first book in a series sure to wet your whistle. Follow Kip, Rock and Steady, as they struggle to survive and stay completely shit faced in the face of certain undead doom. These three unlikely heroes hold the key to humanity’s salvation, but will they succeed being inebriated as they are? Not everyone who saves the world is a rocket scientist, a super hero, or a handsome actor turned politician. Sometimes people who save the world… they’re fucking idiots.

My take:

I first saw this book in a giveaway contest and was intrigued. I didn’t win but I bought it anyway. I’m so glad that I did! This story is an excellent combination!

Kip is an awkward teenager with a cougar mother who believes her drug-using gym addict boy toy can help make him a man. Passed out and stoned for the first time, Kip wakes up to find out that his entire world has changed and that he’s alone. A satellite has crashed and brought with it a virus that is turning everyone into zombies. Kip finds out later why he was spared when he finds Rock and Steady.

Rock and Steady have lived their lives in an eternal party state. They never grew up, just drink, smoke and go to concerts. This is usually not the best lifestyle choice for adults to keep, but it is the best possible way to stay alive in this apocalypse! They are holed up on the roof of a sporting goods store when Kip stumbles upon them. With Kip as the brains of the operation, they not only survive, but manage to rescue others. They even find the “cure” for the virus, all while still managing to have a great time.

Hilarity is a word I would use to describe this book. I know people like Rock and Steady. In fact, I used to BE Rock and Steady! I genuinely liked the characters, and loved watching Kip make progress in his journey to manhood. The banter between the characters had me laughing out loud constantly. I must say that I read this book in one sitting and eleven beers, and enjoyed every minute of it! There was one point in this book when they were in a boat and I was about to take some man cards away, but they redeemed themselves quite quickly, and had me laughing again (before those tears that had started welling in my eyes could fall). The rescued characters were an absolutely wonderful addition to the cast of main characters. So many different kinds of personalities combined to make this rag tag group of friends work. The girls had me laughing. I’d be a mess if I was stuck in a zombie apocalypse without razors and makeup, too!

I absolutely loved the way the zombies were killed. There were so many creative “games” that they came up with; both to keep their base safe, and to stave off the boredom. Some of those games had me laughing and wishing that I could have been there to give it a try! Their creative use of “bait” also had me laughing (an evil laugh this time). The apocalyptic world they were thrown into was made very real to me. The sounds, smells, sights, were all related so perfectly. I read this book weeks ago, and I still think about it. The ending of this book was epic! Seriously! I will not ruin the surprise by mentioning any details, but D.F. Noble, I bow my head to you… I am not worthy!

If you’re looking for a fun book that is so good it reads like a novella, this is it!